Real You

I find it fascinating that not a single person said “I see the real me” in this video, because I strive to know the real me.


Do you have someone in your life that knows the real you?

In my love-hate relationship with relationships, it has become no secret to me that maintaining one is the thing in life I find most challenging.  Lately I have read all sorts of studies talking about how athletes and others perform better around other people.

“People, people who need people. . .” la tee da. . .

These studies are mentioned by people attempting to convince social introverts they need group coaching and should hire them, so I do consider the source, but in general I agree this is truth.  In general.  But then there’s me.

In a side-by-side comparison in different work environments I tend to be more productive when working alone.  When I set my mind to accomplish something, especially of the physical variety (like walking a marathon distance), I tend to perform better alone.

Something akin to a panic response rises up through my toes, my heart rate increases, and my mind goes on red alert when confronted with the mere idea that other people want or need me to go faster than I am capable, be more than I feel able, or wear 4 clothing sizes smaller than I do.

This is exactly why online dating has not worked well for me (do you realize how many men state up front in their profiles they will not date anyone wearing larger than a size 12 and additionally include a pic of themselves with their dog(s)?)  If my body consciousness wasn’t bad enough about being too small for men who like large women and too large for men who like small, the dogs would send me to the hospital in the end.

And while I loved being a part of a team for the first time in my life at age 40 (Team in Training – LLS) , I discovered I still walked faster in marathon training when walking alone.  In other words, I am an outlier in all those “social facilitation” studies.

In the end, I am aware I would not be the expressive pile of atoms from the stars that I am without people, and caring community is definitely a good thing for all beings, but only I know the real me and that real me is probably a better me alone.

: )


About Erin W

A sensitive plant, bamboo strong.
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1 Response to Real You

  1. Erin W says:

    I am passing along a comment to my own post from someone who read it, because this is a great article about introverts. I already knew about being a “Highly Sensitive Person” but this understanding of brains of introverts is very helpful!

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