In an effort to turn a new leaf this year and start completing projects, I was rummaging through my knitting bag for the tail end of a nearly-finished blanket strip I started as a wedding gift 12 years ago. Yes, the marriage has lasted 12 years so it is never too late. At the bottom of the bag, I found a humorous card a former boyfriend had sent me out of the blue for no occasion, just because.
Aside from a chuckle and connection to a rare moment in time I was in a happy relationship, this got me thinking about unconditional or selfless love, one of the four Greek loves called Agape. I was flooded with visions of moments in time I have been the recipient of Agape, and how that is surely the most important subtext of a life.
I decided to catalog a few here to counteract the sinking feeling I had after writing my former blog post about what I recognize as limited thinking about what is possible for my life.
- Magnet-tacked to my refrigerator door, a pen sketch on a postcard size poster board of an adult sitting on a wooden chair holding a child on her lap, each looking the other in the eyes, with large letters “I Love You!” from my daughter when she was probably 6 or 7. Given for no occasion other than love.
- The house with a view in which I have lived and worked for 8 years, rented to me thanks to a single moment in time the owners were reading Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Blink” and decided to act on their impulse, providing my daughter and me a safe foundation from which to grow and heal.
- A Blackfeet Native elder who appeared by my side when I was crying in public after receiving notice my ill daughter and I would be evicted from the Ronald McDonald House for having an active legal protection order. She put her hand on my shoulder, sung a blessing in her language for 60 seconds, and told me in English, “Everything will be all right. You will be protected.”
- My mom who searched to find for me a perfect living spot to rent. A delightfully small A-frame in the woods upon first moving to Whidbey with my then infant child.
- The countless members of my small community who donated to my living and medical costs while my child was ill and I was unable to work full-time.
- A mother who invited me to her home for a tea party with her child after we met while walking on a Seattle street pushing my chemo-bald daughter in a stroller since she felt too weak to walk.
- Brother who got me a computer when I had no funds and mine died.
- Sisters and parents who contributed to sustain me and my child.
- Boyfriends who tried.
- An angel Emily who took me under her wing to encourage bravery, concern for others, and confidence (even though I never got the latter), out of our common humiliation – wearing a confining back brace throughout high school.
- Many moments I have forgotten that surely carried me intact to this moment.