When people go through traumas, as all of us do at some point, it may become easy for us to associate being happy with the other shoe dropping. Waiting for all things supporting us to drop away like legs of a pier rotted into the ocean, through illness, abuse, or heart-shattering loss. So we can start to feel scared of being happy. And numb ourselves from our feelings in any number of ways while bracing ourselves against happiness.
We can also make poor decisions following a huge change or trauma, which raises our chances for a wash in happiness followed quickly by a rinse cycle of collapse.
This bracing for happiness is something I observe in myself on my road and have recently noticed street signs showing me a different way to be.
One sign says, “You can do something at any moment to facilitate the way you feel.”
Another says, “Go outside your four walls.” That single act any time of day or night has proven 100% more effective than antidepressants for me. Connecting to my birthright as a part of nature is everything. No loneliness or loss exists in the field. It’s all whole. I feel whole.
Another asks, “If I work toward things supporting my happiness and they fall apart, can I still be happy?”
My answer now is yes. Because if I’m walking on that pier and it buckles, I know how to swim. I can go inside myself and reach a place that is connected to a great joyful calm in less than 60 seconds. I can be patient with myself instead of hard on myself. I can cry if that’s what needs to happen, but I can also smile and laugh. Neither are going to change my capacity for happiness.
Happiness is knocking on my door just now. Gotta run.