I have learned one thing about being tenacious in life. Tenacity must be followed by letting go for life to move through us.
Currently, I am in a phase where I am working as hard as I ever have in order to meet a goal – to send my daughter on a year-long high school study program for which she was selected this year. I work day in, day out, research possibilities for loans and fundraising, with very few results thus far. There are ideas that need to wait a month until my daughter has any free time: Yard sales, local art silent auction, offering one of my hand-knit shawls to the highest bidder online within 48 hours, speeches to local women’s groups, fellow students hosting a music concert, her dog walking, math tutoring, and a summer job, me rejoining Facebook after two happy years away (say it isn’t so!) in order to spread gofundme page.* We have only 3 months to raise thousands.
The letting go phase of my “campaign” has begun.
I began this blog six years ago (gasp) because of identity. I had reached a point of no return with dating and grasping for a different life and wanted a space to understand and appreciate myself that was separate from my identity as a mom with a “mini-me,” as the younger her was labeled, separate from my identity as a tenacious worker bee. So I have tried consciously not to belabor daily details about life with my child. I do not want anything I write to reflect on her, since she is her own person. I would do anything for her, but this opportunity she has now is a good demonstration for me of the power of letting go. Letting go is really my only option right now.
If this program does not happen for her this year, it is not the end of the world. She can have other opportunities for travel and cultural immersion if that is what she really wants in her future. And I will continue to do anything in my power to support her, because one thing I am is tenacious.
*I refuse to grovel in this space, but on the off chance you are curious about supporting her endeavor to live abroad for a year of school, leave a comment and I can privately send you the gofundme link.